Blog Post Cover - Week in weak out text over car on road.

Now that we’re through Christmas, and with 2021 firmly in our sights, I wanted to reveal my guiding phrase for the new year: Week In, Weak Out.

A Quick Year in Review

For many of us, 2020 has provided some tremendous growth opportunities. The changing world of remote work has given us commute time back while adding the stress of working around children.

The political discord in our country has given us the opportunity to listen and empathize with others.

The ongoing quarantine has revealed just how much we were wired for community, social gatherings, and physical contact.

Along the way of each of these national and global issues, have been the individual issues of our own stories.

Some of my personal notes from this year include:

  • Helping business owners transition to the quickly changing world of HR needs in the midst of a pandemic and forced shutdowns.
  • The selling of one house and the purchase of another.
  • Home renovation projects (here’s looking at you broken water pipes!).
  • Cancelled vacations, family visits, and social gatherings.
  • Kids entering puberty and leaving toddlerhood.
  • Elise starting a new job and her master’s program

All of this has revealed to me some of my next growth opportunities. As a success-oriented high achiever, I need my life to be at peak performance.

My guiding phrase for 2021 to help me achieve that is to get better: Day In, Day Out, Week, Weak Out. Blog Post Cover - Week in weak out text over car on road.

Future Growth Opportunities

2021 presents the next great growth opportunity.

Already, my coaching schedule is filling up. The new year always brings new challenges, HR laws, marketing campaigns, and growth strategies. Business owners are looking to turn the page on 2020 and start fresh in 2021. To help them (and all success-oriented leaders) I need to be at my best.

Leaders are hurting. Many are hurting. Most are facing burnout. All are tired.

Helping leaders stay healthy is why I started coaching in the first place, for me to do that well, I need to be healthy myself.

Here are some of my next growth opportunities in the new year:

  • Read and implement the knowledge from 100 books.
  • Take an extended work-free family vacation.
  • Help 100 business owners grow and expand their businesses.
  • Take Elise on a date at least once a month.

Some of these goals are continued extensions of daily habits, some are drastic increases in my thinking and mindset.

One personal project, however, is consuming a large portion of my time and mental space. It is the main thrust of my idea to grow Week In and Weak Out.

Parenting Well

One of the biggest failures American society has done for men is to provide significant and meaningful markers for manhood. We’ve largely left our boys to figure out puberty, manhood, emotional maturity, and personal development to themselves.

I decided to do something about it, starting with my own kids.

Starting at age 8, and continuing every three years until age 21, each of my boys will take a trip with me where we talk about growing into responsible manhood.

For my oldest son, that starts this year. We’re taking a trip to talk about his coming puberty, self-care and hygiene, service towards others, mindset, and selfless love.

Each and every trip will build on the last. We will spend time in the wilderness, examining what it means to be a well-rounded man.

The only way I can help him do that (and any others that join our journey) is to first work on myself.

Habits, routines, and discipline are built in the daily execution of small, repeatable, success steps.

Day In. Day Out. Week In. Weak out.

That’s how we grow. Every day, do something to get better. The next day, repeat that task and do something else. Next week, you’ll notice a small improvement. Soon, you’ll notice your weaknesses leaving.

Mindset improves.

Grit is stronger.

Compassion is amplified.

Love fostered.

Maturity achieved.

But only through consistent and deliberate attention. Done every day.

Day In. Day Out. Weak In. Weak Out.

 

I’ll be posting about this journey constantly. To keep up to date, find out more, and be a part of the journey, click any of the links below.

Subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE 5-day course on productivity: 

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Blog Post Cover, you are a salesperson text and man in business suit

One of the biggest shifts I see young entrepreneurs and business owners need to make is in their belief in understanding that they are a salesperson.

They might be visionaries, great leaders, product developers, weekend grinders, but they are not (at least in their belief) a sales person.

Guess what: if you don’t sell your product, no one is going to buy it!

Sales is what your company does to make a person give you money for a product they want … The sales process requires a complete knowledge of the product that the company is offering, and needs to be defined by the service standards and criteria that the company has set.*

The Death of a Salesman

I’ve shared on the blog before the early explosion of my coaching practice. In short, I saw quick growth in a short amount of time. Within the first year of coaching I had exceeded my regular income.

I let it go to my head.

I stopped marketing, stopped networking,  and stopped advertising (all things we’ll look at in the next post of this series).

The result was inevitable: I also stopped selling. As I finished up with my clients, I had no pipeline to refill, no prospects to call, and no income to replace what was lost. By the end of my second year, I was down to one regular client.

I failed to follow my own advice and never once told myself, “You are a salesman.” I didn’t want to sell myself, my products, or my services. And so I sold nothing.

I found broke.

That led to being miserable. Blog Post Cover, you are a salesperson text and man in business suit

Eventually, I vowed to change.

Listen. Share. Offer.

Recently, I was at the dentist getting my teeth cleaned. It was my first trip to this dentist, and we were making the usual awkward small talk while he dug around my mouth.

Inevitably, he asked me what I did for a living.

I work with small business owners like yourself focus on getting the right things done to maximize their business and personal lives through executive coaching and HR solutions.

It’s a question I’ve answered a thousand different times. I play with the wording depending on the situation to make sure it has maximum impact.

He sat quiet for a second. Pull away from my gaping mouth, scribbled something on the notes, and went back to work.

Now, I don’t know if he wrote a note to call me later to talk business, but I do know he spend a good portion of the rest of the time talking about how busy he was and how hard it can be to get everything done. At the very least, I’d touched a nerve that made him aware of how I could help.

Most of the time, my answer follows three easy steps to help me know how to talk to the other person, initiate low-pressure sales, and move the conversation forward.

Listen

First, I start with listening. I know how to shape a conversation and usually get to ask what the other person does for a living first. This time, I already knew (dentist), and had to guess at what some of his pain points might be.

But the important thing is to start with listening. Open your ears. Shut your mouth. Let the other person describe themselves, problems, hopes, dreams, fears, and family. You’ll learn quite a bit and have a good platform to engage them from.

Share

Find a way to share about yourself. Your family, your own hopes, dreams, fears, and wild goals. Then share what you do, and if applicable, find a way to share how it could help them.

Above, I offered this, because I know what it’s like being a businness owner and having a wide range of needs on a day to day basis. He ended up telling me quite a bit about his struggle in balancing work and family, kids, grandkids, employees, and medical records. We have similar pain points and struggles. I knew I could help.

*It’s also worth noting that sometimes you may not be able to help a person. In these situations, don’t force your product unnecessarily and don’t assume they aren’t a worthwhile contact to have. Just because you can’t solve their problem doesn’t mean you can’t solve their siblings, parents, friends, or neighbors.*

Offer

The final step is to offer your services. Sometimes this happens right away, especially if I feel like I stand a good chance at closing. I tried this recently and closed a great deal for early next year.

Sometimes, it’s an offer to follow up. Networking events can be difficult to engage in deep-level business talks. Schedule a coffee or offer to come by their office.

Othertimes, it’s also a chance to keep the door open. The time may not be right, but they might know someone. I have a list of people that I will probably never do business with (for a variety of reasons). With them, I keep in touch every couple of months to check in, start a conversation, and see what’s changed. I may not get their business but I may just get business from someone they know.

Offering to stay in touch is a salesperson gold mine.

As business owners, we are the visionaries. We believe in our product more than anyone. That makes us the chief salesperson in our organization, whether we run a show that is just us, of a team of 100 people building a thriving business.

No matter your work.

No matter your product.

As a business owner you are a salesperson.

Eight Core Concepts

This list is updated as the blog series continues. Click on any live link to go to that post in the series. Create and Orchestrate Book Cover

  1. Leadership
  2. Finance
  3. Operations
  4. Growth
  5. Product
  6. Service
  7. Sales
  8. Marketing

* Whitney, Marcus. Create and Orchestrate: The Path to Claiming Your Creative Power from an Unlikely Entrepreneur (p. 88). Creative Power. Kindle Edition.

Blog Post Cover with text overlay: "What Your Story?"

Over the weekend, my eight-year-old wrote a story. It centers on Kaid and Bob and their experience in a typhoon. Like any good story, it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. There’s conflict, dialogue, character progression, a climax, and resolution. In ten pages, all handwritten and illustrated, he took the reader on a pretty spectacular journey. 

He was so dedicated to it, he spent almost all day Sunday putting the finishing touches on it. After he read it to me, you could see the pride beaming from his face. He felt accomplished. He knew he had done something hard, and seen the positive results from it.

More than that, it was actually a really well-written story. He’s clearly got a good grasp of what makes a story compelling and has started the long process of mastering it ahead of him.

I’m extraordinarily proud of him.

It also reminded of something we often forget ourselves.

What’s Your Story?

You are in the midst of a story.

Blog Post Cover with text overlay: "What Your Story?"

Right here.

Right now.

You are telling the world something about you.

2020 has been hard. Devastating for many. A huge setback at best and the fear of final failure at worse.

But your story isn’t over yet.

You get to author the end.

It can feel daunting. I get it.

I know you feel overwhelmed. Totally understandable.

I know you wonder about your business, your relationships, your family. That’s what great leaders do.

But I also know …. you got this.

Reframing The Possibilities

Recently, I had several conversations with individuals exploring coaching before the end of the year. 

One, a young twenty-something female was worried about her kids. The other, a late-career professional staring at the end of his working career both began the same way: “Justin, 2020 really messed me up.”

One had their whole career in front of them. The other only had a few years left before retirement. Both were worried that 2020 proved to be the end.

It’s helpful in these moments to remember that you own the rights to your story. You are the star. In the main drama that unfolds over your life, you are the lead actor, executive producer, and director. You have an incredible amount of power to dictate where your life goes.

I hope you find that liberating. Far from being over, your story is only just beginning. 2020 is not the end, it is a new beginning.

In my son’s story, the friends were displaced from their homes by a natural disaster. By the end of the book, they were off trying to find a new place to live.

Your story may be similar. Your life, your business, your family, your income, your routine has been displaced. You are working from home where you balance kids, a spouse, work, Zoom, a distanced social life, walking the dog, chores, and some quality downtime. 

That’s why I firmly believe that now is the best time for you to seize this opportunity and do something great.

Do Something Great

So what’s your story going to be?

There are 13 weeks left in 2020.

87 days.

2,100 hours.

126,209 minutes.

7,572,500 seconds.

Each one of those is precious.

Embedded within each is the chance to reclaim your life. You now have the opportunity to seize this moment, do something great, and transform your life.

Your day is over.

This month has just begun.

Your story hasn’t ended.

The plot may have shifted, but greatness is still in front of you.

Rise up, warrior, and seize this day. Reclaim your story. Rewrite your legacy.

Do something great.

 

To celebrate the release of my new book, I’m giving away copies for a limited time. To receive your free copy, plus my free 5 day course on productivity, click this link.

Blog Post Cover: Car Robbery with overlay text "deal with it"

Recently, my wife and I were enjoying some coffee in the morning when we noticed headlights pull into our driveway. This isn’t too unusual or a call for alarm as we live three blocks from her parent’s house. They will sometimes stop by in the morning to see the kids before school.

However, three minutes after noticing the lights, they hadn’t come to the door. Then, we heard the sharp screel of an angle grinder, followed immediately by our car alarm going off. 

As I ran outside, there were three individuals attempting to steal our catalytic converter and turn it in for recycling money. I found out from the cops that it’s a popular crime, and one hard to track. Most of the time, car alarms don’t go off. We were able to escape any major injury or damage to the car as we called the cops and they sped off.

However, one phrase has been a recurring phrase for us in the house following the event is: “Deal with it.”

Deal With It.

While they didn’t get anything of value, it was a huge invasion of privacy. Worse than that, there were two individuals I could plainly see, one providing lookout in the car and the other cutting away beneath our vehicle. What I couldn’t see, was the third individual lurking around the corner who charged me when I stepped out my front door to see what was going on. Narrowly escaping, I pushed my wife and kids back inside to the safety of our home and called the cops once we were alerted to the danger.

That night, I noticed that I had a lot of anxiety. Worried they would come back and attempt to finish their theft, or worse, left me unable to sleep. The next several days were all stressful as we tried to process not just the attempted theft, but the invasion of privacy and safety as well.

As we process the event and deal with the consequences and trauma of the event, I realize how many times in life we don’t “deal with it” when problems arise.

At Work

Work situations are ripe with circumstances and experiences that haven’t been dealt with.

  • A coworker makes an inappropriate joke or demeaning remark and is never called out for it. Instead, he assumes everyone agrees with him since nothing was said.
  • A manager ridicules an employee unfairly and abusively. The “leadership style is defended because “that’s just the way he is.”
  • A brewing team conflict is allowed to simmer because of the false belief that product launch and marketing execution is more important than team health.

At Home

  • A series of pet-peeves builds mounting frustration towards a full-blown argument where harsh words are used.
  • The pressure of increased sales at work diminishes the quality of life at home, leading to personal withdrawal and isolation.
  • The busyness of life limits personal connection time and family bonding, leading to a fractured family unit and unspoken angst.

You get the point. You’ve also likely been there. Perhaps you even are there now. But high performers know that you can only be as strong as your weakest area of life. If you’re struggling to deal with any aspect of conflict, drama, or trauma, your success will falter and your breakthroughs will be limited.

Instead, based on the experience of the recent attempted robbery, here are three ways to help you process conflict in your life so you can deal with it appropriately.

1.) Give your emotions space.

The first step towards healing for Elise and I was to give our emotions space. We first had to acknowledge what we were feeling: sadness, anger, fear, frustration, anxiety, panic, and worry were quick to come out. Blog Post Cover: Car Robbery with overlay text "deal with it"

Give yourself the emotional range to deal with difficult problems and learn how to overcome them.

Strong leaders know they need to raise their emotional intelligence. Through consistent and deliberate practice, they engage their emotions and learn to master and express them appropriately.

2.) Share in deep conversation

You can’t deal with problems if you don’t talk about them. Once we acknowledged our emotions, we shared a conversation based around healing. What did it mean for us to deal with this situation effectively? How could we overcome those negative emotions and find hope? What did the other person need? How could we support them?

Elise and I intentionally set aside time to listen, reflect, and engage each other at a deep level.

3.) Create a better tomorrow.

The good news is that we are all okay. The better news is that we can work for a better tomorrow. This experience provided us with the opportunity to look at our house in a new light and discover what made it a good target. Poor outside lighting contributed to the criminals picking our house. So too, did several other factors. We were able to see those, remedy them, and create a safer environment for our family.

In life and work, we can do the same. Interpersonal conflict doesn’t have to be the norm. In fact, it shouldn’t be. In his book Thrive By Design, Don Rheem tells us that we are wired to perform better in teams. Those around us should make us better. If they aren’t, we have issues to address. By addressing them, we make the team better. When we make the team better, we get better. When you get better, you can attain peak performance. By reaching peak performance, you can skyrocket your success.

It is inevitable that conflict, disagreement, and discord will arise in life. However, we don’t have to live in it constantly. Instead, we can rise above it by giving our emotions space, engaging in deep conversation, and working towards a better future.

Blog Cover Photo: Rise To The Occasion

This is part of a blog series from a business development talk I gave. To get caught up, see: Committed to Mastery and then Transformative Teamwork.


Today, we’re covering part three of the speech: Rise To The Occasion.

The contrast of several Northern leaders needs our attention. The North, at the outset of the Civil War, was lacking in high ranking military men. Most of them had gone south at the start of the war. The few that remained, like George McClellan rose quickly. Others, like Generals Custer and Grant, would rise to the occasion.

Setting The Stage

McClellan was a brilliant tactician. His study of worldwide fighting styles, military strategies, and historical aspects of war made him highly desirable. He graduated second in his class from West Point. Dubbed the Young Napoleon, McClellan’s future was bright. Everyone expected great things from McClellan. He cared deeply for his soldiers and they loved him for it. From their perspective, they were well fed, well trained, and rarely fought. It was a pretty good arrangement.

However, between McClellan and President Lincoln, things were rarely ever smooth. McClellan became famous for requesting more supplies and exaggerating enemy numbers. One account tells of a breakdown in Confederate lines and supplies after a battlefield loss. Research seems to indicate that had McClellan pursued them and chased them down, the war would have been over in less than two years. Richmond would have been captured. Top generals would have been defeated. The North would’ve won without further bloodshed. George McClellan

Instead, McClellan estimated enemy numbers exaggerated by 20% and blamed the possibility of bad weather as reasons for a delayed attack. As a result, he called off the chase. Within two days, the South regrouped, shuffled their troops, and counterattacked. They drove the north back. For more than two additional years the Civil War would be fought because of this one failure in his leadership.

Rise to the Occasion

Contrast the brilliance, genius, and ultimate ineptitude of someone like George McClellan with someone like Grant. Grant rose to the occasion given to him. Grant’s war policy was to attack consistently and ferociously. He was adept and editing commands on the fly. He was both well prepared and adaptable. Because he knew the ultimate goal, he could change his methods as the battlefield dictated.

George Armstrong Custer, from outward appearances, had nothing going for him. He barely graduated from West Point coming in dead last in his class. Custer gained an unfavorable reputation because so few trusted him. He was often pulling pranks, spending time in detention, getting into trouble, and had an overly brash demeanor.

However, throughout the Civil War, he distinguished himself as a man of courageous action. By the end of the Civil War, he had been promoted to Major General and was in command of the entire cavalry. In an age where leaders worked from the rear and made orders for other men, he gained admiration by fighting from the front. It’s been noted that he was often the first to go flying into combat with his men trailing behind him. At the conclusion of the war, his unit was responsible for capturing more POWs and infantry flags than any other unit. He was even respected enough that he received the table that unconditional surrender terms were drafted.

Where We Find Ourselves

Three men at the same point in history take dramatically different paths in life. One, seemingly given every advantage, squanders it all. He leaves frustrated, disgraced, disillusioned, and desperate. The other two inspire, engage, and rise to the occasion. McClellan, from the top of his class, witnesses everything crumble before him. Grant and Custer rise from the bottom. Custer, quite literally from the bottom of his class to one of the highest positions available and becomes the stuff of lore and legend.

There is something inside of our DNA that loves these transformational stories. Zeroes to heroes inspire us. We long for stories of David defeating Goliath. Worst to first and victory in the midst of defeat give us hope. Blog Cover Photo: Rise To The Occasion

Undoubtedly, there are many parallels in our businesses. Perhaps you even know of a time or two in your own life or that of your company (or even an employee) where you can see now how things could have and should have worked out differently.

Individuals or companies with all the advantages that still somehow managed to fail. Mega tech companies caught with bad numbers and crumble an empire. Someone identified as a high performer busted for ethical violations or a failure to perform. An industry darling in one year is an outcast in another.

But there’s also the flip side.

A surprise hire going on to transform a business or industry.

A perpetual under-achiever finds a fire in their soul and rises to extraordinary levels of leadership.

And while nothing in life is a guarantee, what I have found throughout my years in coaching, is that there are certain tendencies and ways to “hedge our bets.”

The Power of Coaching

Coaching advances the high performers at an astounding rate, helping them to avoid burnout. It also has the capacity to equip the last place hire to deeper levels of transformation. Coaching gives a place for both the first-place all-star and the last place “skin of your teeth, you just barely made it” performer.

My start in coaching looked much the same. I began working with clients who self-identified as someone who knew they were capable of great things but couldn’t get out of their own way (much like we might have said early on about Custer).

The ICF first defined coaching as, “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

When we equip our ourselves and our staff to reach their full potential we inspire them to rise to the occasion.