Blog Post Title: Clarity Breeds Confidence

Recently, I had to engage in a bit of self-talk. Long hours. Early mornings. Late nights. A move to a new city. It was catching up with me. I was e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.

That meant the minor task I had to accomplish was becoming a major headache. With all the finesse and grace of an accomplished dancer, I spun around that task and successfully avoided it for hours.

Eventually, as I was sitting on the couch looking for yet another distraction, I finally came to my senses.

Justin!?! What are you thinking? You know you need to do this. If you lack motivation, you lack the vision. Why does this matter to you so much?

Clarity Breeds Confidence

At that moment, I acknowledged I lacked the clear motivation of why this task mattered. I verbally began to recite whatever came to mind as to why the task mattered.

  • Your family is counting on you.
    Blog Post Title: Clarity Breeds Confidence
  • Accomplishing this will provide income to your family.
  • It builds trust and respect.
  • I want to provide for those I love.

On and on the list grew. Before I knew it, I had expressed over twenty different reasons I needed to complete the task.

What happened?

It was done in less than an hour.

Clarity breeds confidence. If we lack the motivation to complete something, it’s often because we lack the vision of why it matters in the first place.

When we remind ourselves what makes a task important, we harness the motivation (and more importantly, discipline) to get it done.

Pulled 1,000 Different Directions

Many of us are pulled in a thousand different directions every day. Our spouse needs affection. The kids want our attention. Our boss wants a report. A parent needs our perspective. Our friend needs advice. The side-hustle needs grinding.

Whatever it is, you know what it’s like to be pulled in a thousand different directions.

When struggling, recite: Confidence breeds clarity. The more clear our goals, the more action we are willing (and able to take). 

By gaining clarity on why something matters, you’ll breed the confidence to figure out how.

That’s one big difference between high-achievers and regular performers. High-achievers spend a significant amount of time engaging in the end vision of their journey and then plan intentionally.

Because clarity breeds confidence. Struggling like I was? Spend time there and experience a breakthrough.

Man with muscular shadow and superimposed text: Capacity to change the world

All of us have a superpower that when unleashed have the capacity to change the world. Think Marvel, but much more incredibly powerful (and totally real!).

Here are some of the amazing things that your superpower can do:

  • Increase Optimism.
  • Raise self-confidence.
  • Create greater levels of connection with others.
  • It provides the largest effect on trust. This is especially when it is tangible, personal, and public.
  • Activates your medial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that experiences pleasure in things like drugs and alcohol. Meaning using this superpower gets you high like a drug. That’s right YOU feel better when using your superpower.
  • Using your superpower makes others more innovative, creative, collaborative, results, and productivity.
  • It increases longevity in the workforce. People stay longer where this superpower is used.

Any clue what it is? Man with muscular shadow and superimposed text: Capacity to change the world

Gratitude

Gratitude is your key superpower and it gives you the capacity to change the world. Expressing gratitude has been shown to not only bring value and service to others but to you as well. You get a chemical high, it blesses your employees and coworkers, increases your self-confidence, builds trust, and generates positivity.

Not bad, eh?

Expressing gratitude is a small thing that makes a big difference. Here are a few ways for you to express gratitude today:

  • Publicly praise a coworker or employee with words of affirmation and a job well done.
  • Write a note of thanks to a customer.
  • Create a social media post on your company page that honors an extraordinary effort or job well done by someone in your company.
  • Write a positive review of a business, server, or other public servant giving them praise and honor for their commitment.

Your Capacity To Change the World

There are thousands of ways to express gratitude. The important thing is to express it. Being thankful without expressing it is like not being thankful at all.

In our current world, this is important now more than ever. The world is longing for superheroes. You have the ability to be one. Your capacity to change the world lies in activating your superpower: gratitude.

Push Through Excuses and realize you can do it.

 

The measure of our success will always be determined by our ability to push through excuses.

A List of Popular Excuses

Tell me if you’ve heard (or used) any of these following excuses:

  • I’m Tired
  • The kids wouldn’t cooperate.
  • My boss was mean.
  • A bad economy.
  • No one listens to me.
  • My spouse doesn’t support me.
  • A team member (or business partner) didn’t work as hard as me.
  • I don’t have the time.

The list could keep going, couldn’t it? We’ve all been there. Longing for a vision of what could’ve been or should’ve been had things worked out differently.

They can work out differently. Things can always improve. We can always do better. Under no circumstances should we ever forego chasing our dreams.

Our success is limited only by our ability to overcome our circumstances.

Push Through Excuses

Early on in my coaching career, I had a not-so-good client. (That’s putting in nicely). I didn’t enjoy working with this person. They had a long list of dreams and desires and an even longer list of reasons why they couldn’t accomplish those dreams.

During one coaching call, he explained that he couldn’t send any resumes out because his ex-girlfriend wouldn’t have liked his resume format. Push Through Excuses and realize you can do it.

He didn’t apply for a job, because a former girlfriend wouldn’t have liked the formatting. Everyone else was getting to dictate the direction and circumstance except for him.

We worked on these issues for weeks. Stuck in a dead-end job, he wanted out badly (or so he said). Finally, after a month of inaction, I leveled with him. “Fix it this week or I’m sending your money back. I’m done working with you if you don’t want to change.”

After a few seconds of silence, he responded, “Yeah, I’m not gonna fix it this week. Thanks though.” Within thirty seconds of that sentence, we wrapped up our last call, I canceled his paperwork, and I never looked back.

I’m not sure what happened to him, but I learned a lot from him. I learned about my ideal client, staying motivated, having discipline, and the need to push through excuses.

Our ability to reach our dreams is directly related to our ability to push through excuses.

Determined At All Costs

High-achievers and success-oriented people have learned to push through excuses. Nelson Mandela remarked, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Leaders are determined at all costs to push through excuses. They choose to exercise courage instead of fear. Practicing commitment to their goals is paramount. They know how much is riding on it.

Here are three tips to give us courage as we pursue our goals and push through excuses:

1.) Create Clear Goals

Clarity breeds confidence. When we know exactly what we’re aiming for, and why it matters, we can muster up the strength to continue.

2.) Recall Your Track record

If no one has told you this yet: Good job. So far, you’ve made it through 100% of everything life has thrown you. Your strength, capabilities, and commitment have gotten you this far. You have no reason to think you can’t make it through the next obstacle, however daunting it may seem.

3.) Journey Together

Life is hard. It’s even harder to do it alone. Find a friend, mentor, peer, trusted advisor, or coach. Establish a relationship with the right people who are in your corner and push you towards greatness. The right people help you tell your story better. They are absolutely critical to your journey.

We’ve all been hurt. Everyone has been lied to. We all know the pain of fear, regret, pain, and failure. Successful people have learned to tell a different story. To rewrite their old history and chart a new path.

The journey to success is not a straight line, but it is one that must be made intentionally. Lean into those goals. Pursue them with passion. Give it your all. Don’t stop. In order to reach your full potential, you must push through excuses.

Start today.

 

Woman doing Yoga in sunset with blog title superimposed

We’re one day into the new year.

Be honest: how are those resolutions going?

I had a conversation with someone yesterday who was committed to being healthy in the new year but was already leery of how close Valentine’s Day was.

On new years day, they were worried about how a holiday 45 days in the future, was going to effect today.

Less than one day.

That’s exactly how long it took to waiver on their commitment.

Don’t Be A Statistic

According to some research, upwards of80 percent of us will fail at our new year resolutions by February. Our commitments to eat better, sleep more, focus on the right things, exercise, and spend more time with loved ones are often token words.

We know the right answer, but we fail to experience the transformation we long for.

Why?

First, there is a lack of clarity. “Losing weight” is pretty vague. Instead, plan on losing “ten pounds by March 1.” It’s clear, definable, and action-oriented.Woman doing Yoga in sunset with blog title superimposed

Second, it’s an arbitrary date. While January 1 looks nice, it’s no more an effective date July 7 or September 10. In fact, based on the (usually) poor weather conditions and limited sunlight, it may actually be a worse time to start your goals.

Third, those committed to self-improvement do it as soon as they discover a weakness. In my work with high-performers, I can always tell the level of seriousness in a potential client by how they treat their self-improvement. Those who are ready usually take little to no prompting from me. We’ll talk about a subject, figure out an action plan, and they are off and running. In contrast, those that take a while to decide, need to spend some time “thinking about it” or “will get back to me” never actually make real change. They like the idea of change, they know they should change, but they rarely (if ever) do.

Think Different

In August of 1997, Steve Jobs urged us to “Think Different.” 

It worked for Apple. It works for us too.

If you want to be someone that breaks the trend of failed new years resolutions, here are my top three tips to “Think Different” and experience success.

1.) Set clear, definable goals.

2.) Do one thing every day to get better.

3.) Get clear on your why, not just your what.

While it may have taken my friend one day to falter, that doesn’t have to be the case with you. 

Be the exception.

Be different.

Think different.

Do different.

Experience Success.

 

Start With The Big Rocks

“I just can’t fit it all in!”

Those were the words my client told me over the phone.

Frustrated and agitated, he was lamenting the increasing toll his recent promotion was taking on him. The commutes were longer, the workdays were more exhausting, the stress was mounting.

“Was the pay increase really worth this?” he continued. “Sure, the pay is great, but what’s the point if I can’t enjoy it. Worse than that, I barely see my family anymore!”

Perhaps you can relate.

Maybe you’ve had one of the “crazy weeks.” (Wait…isn’t every week like that???)

My advice remains the same now as it was then: start with the big rocks.

Determine Your Big Rocks

I remember hearing of a study once that examined the student’s ability to properly fill an aquarium full of rocks. There were various sizes of rocks from tiny pebbles to larger foundational rocks.

As the story goes (at least as it was reported to me), the college students started dumping rocks, starting with the small one first to fill the bottom evenly.

By the time they got to the big rocks, not everything would fit.

In contrast to this, the kindergarten students started with the big rocks and everything looking messy. But, as they poured each successively smaller version of rocks in, they filled all the gaps.

The result? The college students “failed” the experiment by not fitting in all of their assigned rocks. In contrast to this, the kindergarten students passed because all of the rocks fit.

And while dozens of life lessons could be learned from this, this is why I push my clients to start with the big rocks.

When we start with the big rocks of life, we end up having room for everything. Work is undoubtedly an important part of life, but is it our biggest rock? Probably not. (At least it shouldn’t be…)

Family, self-care, personal growth, and close relationships are all things that should take up the foundation of who we are. Hobbies and work probably come next. Small rocks include the minor areas of life that take up some time but should never take too much.

As we gain clarity on what our big rocks are, we can easily see what is out of balance with our life pace.

Learning From My Kids

One of the things I’ve learned to implement is a lesson from my four children. If I leave the house and I hear, “Bye, dad! I can’t wait to see you later!” there is a good chance that things are going well. If, on the other hand, I hear, “Noooooo. Daddy, don’t go!” followed by weeping and gnashing of teeth, I know that my priorities for work are starting to take up too much time.

In those moments, I work diligently to reshape my schedule to spend more time with my family.

Thankfully, I’m getting better at this and starting to hear those sounds of disappointment less.

But it all starts with having clarity.

  • Clarity on the key values for my life.
  • Conviction on what matters most.
  • Commitment to live a life shaped by honoring my values more than worldly demands.

But I can only do that when I start with the big rocks.

Question For Discussion: What might be something you would say to someone struggling with work-life balance? Leave a comment below!

 

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