Blog Post Cover Art two people mapping out a journey with a computer and paper, one person sipping coffee. Overlay text Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

Recently, I was reminded about the importance of developing the process of growth and achievement.

As I was scrolling through social media, I came across the following quote:

Amateurs have goals, professionals have a process.

In the myth of new year new you, it’s popular for people to set goals. Rarely do they ever achieve those goals. Now, some are now actively warning you not to do it.

The failure to attain these goals, really to gain any motivation or traction for change, can be found in that nuance.

I’ve written before about how to write clear and compelling goals.

What makes all the difference in the world, is the process to make it stick.

Setting Goals

Here’s a quick recap on how to set good goals: S.M.A.R.T.E.R.

Specific – Is it clear?

Measurable – Can it be defined?

Achievable – Is it possible?

Relevant – Do I really want it?

Timely – When does it need to be done by?

Energy – What’s the feeling I gain by achieving the desired result?

Reward – How can I remind myself it all matters?

Notice the difference between these two “goals”

I will lose weight.

OR Blog Post Cover Art two people mapping out a journey with a computer and paper, one person sipping coffee. Overlay text Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

I will lose 25 pounds by March 15. This will give me extra energy and confidence for the cruise my wife and I are taking to celebrate our anniversary over spring break. When I lose those twenty-five pounds, I will reward myself with a new swimsuit for the trip.

Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

Develop the process.

Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

To help develop the process in any goal you want to set, here are three quick questions you can ask yourself:

1.) Who do I need to become?

Goals, growth, and progress all require change. You cannot strive to attain something and remain the same. Identify who you need (and want) to become. Create the process and choices that will help you achieve the desired growth.

2.) What should I K.I.S.S.?

In this context, K.I.S.S. is an acronym for Keep, Improve, Start, Stop.

What is working well that I should keep doing? This is about amplifying the good.

What could be working better? This is about refinement.

What do I need to start? Action is key and sometimes we don’t get it right the first time. This is about continuous motion and improvement.

What should I stop? Not everything goes as anticipated. Sometimes, we just need to let it go.

3.) How will I avoid distraction?

We’re not perfect. I’m sure you’ve logged on to social media before to make a meaningful and business-related post only to be sucked in by mindless scrolling. It happens to everyone. Learning our personal triggers (being tired, hungry, bored, etc…) and building around those moments minimizes distractions and keeps us focused.

2022 is young and fresh. It is a year full of possibilities and I hope and pray the best for you. On your journey remember one thing:

Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

Develop the process.

Blog Post Cover Art: Two hands holding another in sympathy with blog overlay text "What's Your Kindness Quotient?"

 … The other day, I was listening to the radio, and the host began the segment by asking, “What’s your KQ?” After a few seconds of silence, she went on to explain that KQ is Kindness Quotient. Understanding, and cultivating kindness is a growing trend. I’m 100% in.

Understanding KQ

For years, in the business world, we’ve heard about terms about our IQ (Intelligence) and EQ (Emotional) resilience. We’ve examined grit. Studies have been done on leadership capacity. You can get a degree in change management.

But recently, I came across the idea of KQ (Kindness Quotient) while listening to the radio, and I’m 100% in favor of this.

… being kind is linked to being happy. In her research, Sonya Lyubomirsky, a University of California-Riverside psychologist, found that practicing acts of kindness (as well as expressing thankfulness, gratitude, and forgiveness ) was common among happy people. Kindness seems to have a rebound effect, creating an endless loop of positivity …

(Source) Blog Post Cover Art: Two hands holding another in sympathy with blog overlay text "What's Your Kindness Quotient?"

I’m a huge fan of gratitude and think that consciously expressing thankfulness creates and generates more to be thankful for.

Apparently, kindness works the same way.

Intentionally expressing an act of kindness to someone generates more kindness in the world.

Random Acts of Kindness

As a child, I remember the call of a well-intentioned teacher urging me to “Go RAK someone today.” That is, engage in a random act of kindness. Their belief was that if I could do that, I would feel good, someone else would benefit, and the world would be a better place.

We even kept a RAK chart so we could see who RAK’d the most people in a given week.

Maybe she was on to something …

And now more than ever, the world seems to need a little bit of kindness.

Societal unrest.

Political Turmoil

COVID Pandemic

Fear-Filled News Cycles

Natural Disasters

The world appears to be in trouble.

And while I’m not entirely sure what kindness could do to stop a hurricane, I know kindness could help solve the rest of the problems on the list … and go a long way in recovering from a hurricane.

What’s Your Kindness Quotient (KQ)

So, what’s your KQ level?

Can you tell?

I’d like to think I’m a kind person, and show generosity, compassion, grace, and positivity in the world, but do I?

How can I tell?

In coaching, we talk a lot about investing our time and energy into the right pursuits. During one activity, we look at ways to analyze our calendar and our task list to see if our values and our time are lining up.

In many ways, we can measure kindness in the same way. Can you look back on your time, and just like you scheduled time to exercise, have dinner, return emails, and attend your kid’s practice, did you schedule a time to be kind?

Did you keep it front of mind?

Do you challenge yourself to grow and expand your capabilities?

In a world focused on division, dis-unity, and discord, focus instead on being kind, generous, compassionate, and proactively positive.

So, what’s your kindness quotient?

My new PPP loan program can revolutionize your life. 
Well, by loan I mean I’m not referring to money, but knowledge. And you don’t have to pay it back, just pay it forward …
So, let me show you how to get the most out of your relationships in life and business.
There’s an old saying that says, “Management would be great if it weren’t for all the people.”
As leaders, we realize that people are our biggest problems … well .. they are technically all of the problems.
(But not you. You’re perfect. It’s everyone else. Don’t worry. 😉)

So, what do you do with all the problem people in your life? 

Use my new PPP formula to help you. 
 

Problem

The first “P” is the problem. Everyone has them.

  • Grumpy attitudes
  • Bad service
  • Poor sleep
  • Bed bugs

Whatever it is, realize that people have problems. As a leader, you are called to help serve them.
 

Potential

The second “P” is potential. This is where you come in.

You have the potential to help them: to solve their problem, be the hero, save the day. Whatever ‘it’ is, your potential influence in the world is the greatest force for good all those problem people have.

  • You can give them a smile
  • Provide excellence service
  • Sell them a better mattress
  • Kill the bed bugs

Whatever it is.  Use those gifts, skills, and abilities. Whatever you have at your disposal. However you are called, whatever you are called to do, utilize it for good. Whether you are a business owner or just a passionate leader, utilize your potential influence for good.
 

Profit

The final “P” is profit. In a business sense, this is about making money. As far as I know, that is the goal of any business.

But profit has many other spheres as well.

  • Stronger customer relationships
  • More chance to give back
  • A new friend
  • Greater intimacy

Whatever is, you profit by being a problem solver.

This week, use the new PPP loan information and identify three people with problems in your sphere of influence. See what the potential is and offer to help. Then, profit from the work of a job well done.

 
Stay in touch!

I’m a huge believer that external facets of leadership health are largely a reflection of our internal health.

In short, if you want to lead in a healthy way, you yourself must first be healthy.

The next two parts of this series will focus on those external dynamics of healthy leadership: relationships and finances. These external (tangible) results of leadership can only be accomplished if we’ve first dealt with the internal dynamics of sustainable leadership.

This conversation is needed now more than ever. As we head toward summer, we’re all feeling the compounding stress from a year of COVID, political turmoil, economic uncertainty, and a variety of other factors. blog cover photo four pictures showing leadership fatigue, burnout, and victory from defeat.

So it’s no wonder that burnout is on the rise.

Signs and Symptoms of Burnout

Before we transition to the external facets of leadership health (and given the startling rise of burnout during 2020), I want to offer signs and symptoms of burnout. If you or someone you know is experiencing the following, please seek professional help. You may contact me here for coaching or reach out to a licensed therapist in your area.

  • Prolonged depression
  • Feelings of apathy about work
  • Questions around meaning and purpose
  • Using food, alcohol, or drugs to self-medicate feelings
  • Lack of satisfaction about work accomplished
  • A lack of energy
  • Little desire to be productive or passionate in work
  • Physical ailments like prolonged upset stomach, heartburn, and/or headaches.
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Thoughts of harming self or others
  • Irritability around coworkers or superiors
  • Extreme self-doubt
  • Isolation and avoidance of others
  • Continued tardiness or leaving early from work
  • Emotional numbness
  • Quick and excessive weight gain

The Wrap Up

If you or someone you know is facing burnout, please get help. Email me to set up your first appointment.

Looking for more ways to fight against burnout? Here are 50 self-care tips.

 Want the entire series as a Kindle book? Go here.

Phone booth with calling quote from Frederick Buechne

How would you answer the question: why on earth am I on earth?

The foundation for all healthy leadership begins with a calling. Leaders have always been called. Sacred scriptures throughout the world emphasize this. However, what is almost always missed is the development of the call story.

There are two levels of calling that need to be identified. The first is a general calling and a specific calling. Each of these plays a unique and significant role in the life of the leader.

The general call is usually the first initial calling that comes with leadership. As a coach, it’s common to see this within the coaching field. Fresh out of coaches training, I was under the belief that I could (and should) coach “anyone and everyone.”

It’s an easy thought to rationalize:

If the coaching principles are true, then I should be able to coach anyone!

And while the coaching principles are true and universal, I cannot nor should I, coach everyone. Coaches always seem to learn this the hard way, usually through a bad client. Thankfully, I had my bad client experience early on. While I knew that in theory, I could coach anyone, practically I knew I didn’t want to coach him again.

Specific calling happens when leaders remain faithful to pursuing and developing a robust answer to the question, “Why on earth am I on earth? What’s my ultimate purpose? Phone booth with calling quote from Frederick Buechne

In my own coaching practice, I’ve worked with C-Suite executives, entrepreneurs, managers, religious professionals, educators, and people in the service industry. Each person allowed me to narrow down my specific niche. Now, I can clearly and confidently say that I provide executive coaching for small business owners.

Engaging in Your Calling

Most of us have experienced a general calling to leadership. That’s why we’re plugged into a network like LinkedIn. It’s the place for us to connect with other like-minded individuals.

I’m also willing to venture that many of us have found our specific calling. We know what we were put here to do.

The tension happens in two locations: for those that don’t know their specific calling and for those that do and aren’t doing it.

First, burnout can affect those that don’t know their specific calling. For years, I was stuck in this position. You, or someone you know, might be in this position if they say things like:

  • I don’t know where my life is going.
  • What’s my purpose?
  • I can’t seem to figure out what I’m trying to do.
  • I feel so lost.

These sorts of sayings are clues and indicators of an undefined and unrefined calling. For these leaders, burnout happens because the mounting frustration of an incomplete vision leaves them overwhelmed. Life for leaders was never meant to stop with a general calling.

All leaders all call for a specific reason, to a specific place, for specific people, to accomplish a significant mission.

The second place for burnout is for those that know their specific calling but aren’t practicing it. You might hear or feel sayings like this:

  • I feel like I’m made for more.
  • If I could just get the right opportunity…
  • I could accomplish so much if I could just get out of my own way.

For those with a specific, but yet unfulfilled calling, burnout can happen because of the increasing resentment of seemingly insurmountable barriers.

Leaders with an unfulfilled specific calling struggle with the fear of failure, inadequacy, or of missing out on achieving ultimate success.

Calling – Meeting The Needs of Others

Frederick Buechner once referred to calling as,

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

And notice, that so far, I have mentioned nothing about jobs, titles, or positions. Those are largely irrelevant when it comes to fulfilling a calling in leadership.

I worked with an individual once who, by all personality tests and interviews, would have been a great church planter. As we worked through his areas of calling and gifting, however, we discovered that he didn’t want to plant a church at all. Instead, he wanted to revitalize old churches and bring new life to established congregations.

Another former client worked his way up the corporate ladder, only to find himself lonely at the top. After reevaluating his career choices, he started down a completely different career field that gave him more flexibility in his home life. He was much happier wearing the pinstripes of a coach to his son’s baseball team than the pinstripes of his three-piece suit.

Calling – What it is … and what it isn’t

Calling is …

  • discovering, pursuing, and fulfilling the answer to the question, “What on earth am I on earth for?”
  • knowing intimately your deepest purpose and passion in the world.
  • a part of everyone’s story.
  • foundational to establish healthy leadership patterns while avoiding burnout.

Calling is not …

  • dependent on rank, title, position, promotion, or title.
  • arrogant, boastful, proud, or demeaning of others.
  • reserved for a select few “special ones.”
  • an optional endeavor who want to reach their full potential.

The Wrap Up

If you or someone you know is facing burnout, please get help. Email me to set up your first appointment.

Looking for more ways to fight against burnout? Here are 50 self-care tips.

 Want the entire series as a Kindle book? Go here.