In coaching, I’m willing to do anything I can to help you reach your goals. The one thing I can’t do, however, is make you want to change. That’s why I ask all potential clients, Do you want to change?
The Origin of the Question
While walking the earth, Jesus performed lots of miracles, engaged in teaching the masses, and healed people. In one such instance, he asked the man, Do you want to get well?
It seems rather odd, that question.
Who wouldn’t want to get well?
Well, it turns out, quite a few of.
In fact, quite a few of us like being sick in one way or another.
We feel comfortable where we are stuck. In the small beliefs we hold. We see it in the minor discomforts of life, that one way or another, we are all stuck and most of us like being there.
It’s safe.
Comfortable.
It’s also killing us slowly.
Jesus asking, do you want to get better expresses the true desires of our hearts.
Do you want to let that burden go?
Are you willing release your doubt and fear?
Do you want to experience something different?
Because if you do, he offers to help. But if you like where you’re at, he’s also willing to leave you there.
In coaching, I’ve seen the same thing happen.
Do You Want To Change?
Whenever I meet with a potential client, we spend a little bit of time getting to know each other. I need them to trust me and give them space in our first session to ask anything they want about me. I’ll disclose (within reason) whatever the need to feel comfortable.
It’s also a time for me to see where they are at. It’s a chance to make sure they are willing to engage in the process with both their head and their heart.
And one question I ask everyone is, “Do you Want To Change?”
I can do a lot for you: provide excellent coaching, recommend books and other resources, give you extra time, and other tools at my disposal.
The one thing I can’t do for you is make you want to change.
That’s the one thing you have to bring to the relationships: you have to want to change. To get better. To experience life anew.
If you’re unwilling to do that, there’s really not a lot I can do.
Years ago, I read Eugene’ Peterson’s A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. To be honest, I don’t remember much of the book, but the title has long stuck with me.
It’s become a continual mantra for the daily habits, beliefs, thought patterns, and actions that I use to guide my life.
A Long Obedience in the Same Direction
It’s fairly typical for me to have a panic attack on Monday morning. I suffer from anxiety; from the fear of what could be.
At times, it’s overwhelming.
Debilitating.
Paralyzing.
In those moments of lost despair, I’ve trained myself to recall the phrase and title of the book, a long obedience in the same direction.
The fear comes from my desire to do it all.
To break free of that fear, I have to remind myself that I don’t have to do it all right now.
My destination is not complete today, instead, I am on the journey.
So what would obedience look like today?
That’s a much simpler proposition:
Network
Respond to emails
Call clients
Spend time with my family
Eat well
Exercise
Encourage someone
Get to bed on time
Repeat
While the specific formula to each day may look different, I guide my life by answering the question: what do I need to do today that could get me one step closer to my goal?
Once I have that figured out, I create the plan for obedience.
The capstone of great leadership is a life capable of resisting burnout, and that happens through a life of abundant generosity.
You cannot have that, without financial health.
Ultimately, you will never be able to fully resist the pitfall of burnout if your financial life is in order.
Getting Started
In the early days of my coaching practice, this is exactly where I found myself. I wanted to be there fully for my clients, but often wondered how quickly they were going to pay. If it wasn’t soon, I wasn’t going to be able to pay my bills. That sort of internal struggle makes it hard to be fully present.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’ve woken up with a knot in your stomach wondering how you were going to make it through the growing pile of bills.
If you’ve ever lived at a point of having more month than money, you know the stress of too little money.
But a life free of burnout goes one step farther. It’s never just about having enough money, it’s about giving back. To be free from burnout as a leader, you give of your time, your resources, your skills, and your expertise. The final commitment is to give your money.
Great leaders not only get their financial life in order, but they also practice living a life of Abundant Generosity.
Abundant Generosity
Abundant generosity is about giving extravagantly. It’s charitable giving, yes, but it’s so much more. It is the openness and willingness to propel others to their own successes.
Abundant generosity is a joyful state of abundance.
It calls for greatness out of yourself and others.
Abundant generosity opens up the well deep within your soul to provide monetary donations, wisdom, and acts of service to better the causes, communities, and people you care about most.
A number of years ago, I changed part of my pricing package to include a “generosity” option. In short, when people purchase a certain coaching contract with me, I move part of that money into a separate fund that provides scholarships for people that can’t afford full coaching services.
The individual receiving coaching wins by receiving free or discounted coaching services.
I win because I get to help more people.
The person who made the donation wins because they get to practice abundant generosity.
But as I’ve said, finances are only a part of the picture. Sometimes, they know the person who receives coaching. They nominate someone in their organization who then gets the added benefit of a promotion because of their growth through the coaching process.
The end result is a recurring cycle of growth in individuals and organizations where all are giving and receiving. Abundant generosity, in this case, is about bettering the community.
As we wrap up this eleven-part series, I want to encourage you to practice abundant generosity where you have the chance. Give freely and deeply. Bless others. With your money, your time, your gifts, your resources, your network, your business, and your passion.
Start by freeing yourself from the burden of debt. Then, accumulate as much knowledge as you can and give it all away.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to tell yourself, “Go take a nap!”
This is a continuing series. Today’s post is “Go take a nap.” In this series, we are examining leadership burnout and the steps you need to implement as a leader to avoid (and recover from) burnout.
Contain within the Hebrew Scriptures is one of my favorite stories of all time. Written like a great movie blockbuster, this story has it all.
Murder.
Betrayal.
The beginning of a revolution.
Drama.
Rebellion.
Intrigue.
The Backstory
Elijah, a prophet to the nation of Israel is confronting the King. The wicked ruler Ahab has ravaged the lady with wife, the cruel and anti-God Jezebel. Elijah, the one urging the people to remain faithful to God, can only do so by confronting the King.
In 1 Kings 18, he does just that. After years of prophecy, it is time for action. Elijah emerges from a foreign town called Zarephath (which means ‘melting pot’, probably a sign that it had economic ties to military arms production).1 Elijah, a prophet of Israel, emerges from his hiding place, located inside of Israel’s enemy, from a town producing tools to destroy Israel, to tell the king it’s time to face the music. The nerve of Elijah.
Yet as we shall see, this will also set the stage for his coming burnout.
Elijah confronts the king, his evil wife Jezebel, and her wayward prophets of Baal in a showdown to determine the true ruler of Israel. A comedic set of circumstances follow.
Elijah seemingly gives the prophets of Baal every advantage. They get to build their altar first, perhaps ending the confrontation early if Baal shows up. They get to pick the best bull for the sacrifice, and they can have as long as they want to win the showdown.
After hours of worship and devotion to Baal, the prophets begin to tire. Elijah starts taunting them. Here, many translations limit the effectiveness of this passage by saying that perhaps Baal is busy traveling, deep in thought.
A better and more literal translation has Elijah taunting the prophets of Baal that perhaps they caught him while he was going to the bathroom. Baal would surely come to their rescue just as soon as he could finish relieving himself. How embarrassing!
Elijah’s Response
After taunting the prophets, Elijah changes his tone. Now, he gathers the watching Israelites and begins to instruct them in the proper way to live. The drought the nation is experiencing is because of their inability and lack of desire to follow God. The drought will end when they realize this.
He rebuilds their broken altar, has the bull sacrificed, orders water poured on it, and prays to God to accept the sacrifice. Immediately, fire from heaven consumes the offering, the altar, and the water. The people are astonished.
Elijah orders the false prophets killed and murders over 400 people. Because of their faithfulness, the people will be rewarded with rain.
Elijah warns the king to prepare. After three years of no rain, it is about to become a torrential downpour!
The Burnout
At the conclusion of this story, Elijah is exhausted.
The teaching.
The sacrifice.
The murder.
Additionally, the text tells us that Elijah then flees the scene and runs to another town that was twenty miles away.
It is here that Elijah falls victim to burnout. He has started to believe his own hype and self-importance. One author comments
“Elijah, in fact, is a vivid biblical example of Freudenberger’s observation that burnout “is the letdown that comes between crises or directly after ‘mission accomplished.’”… He expended a great deal of physical, emotional, and spiritual energy in his conflict with the prophets of Baal…His success caused the Israelites and their king to come back to the worship of the only true God. Shortly after that incident, he expended more energy by climbing to the top of Mount Carmel, spending an intense period of time in prayer… and, when that prayer was answered…outran King Ahab’s chariot.”2
The story then tells us that Elijah is overwhelmed and wishes he were dead. He complains to God. To him, death is better than continuing down this path.
(On a side note, we see this in burnout all the time. It’s one leading reason why the highest spike in suicide happens on Sunday night as people start preparing to go back to a job they hate).
God’s Response
In words that I have come to use often on myself and others when they are feeling overwhelmed, I love God’s response.
After listening to Elijah he gives his two commands: eat something and take a nap.
Elijah, you just did something important. You accomplished a big goal. Then you ran twenty miles. You’re tired. Exhausted. Spent. Have some meat. Eat some bread. Drink some water. Then go take a nap. We’ll talk after that.
Elijah follows these commands, and wouldn’t you know it, he wakes up refreshed and ready for the next challenge.
We too need to hear these words. After significant challenges, we can fall victim to overwhelm.
Don’t listen to those voices!
In future posts, we’re going to look at specific ways to prevent and fight against burnout. For now, it is enough to know this: if you’re exhausted, eat something and then go take a nap. We can talk after that.
1.) Brueggemann, Walter. 1 Kings. Knox Preaching Guides. John H. Hayes. Atlanta: John Knox Press, 1982.
2.) Minirth, Frank B. “Unfulfilled Expectations: The Burnout Burden.” In Beating Burnout: Balanced Living for Busy People, 41-42. New York: Inspirational Press, 1997.
This week on the podcast, our mastermind is sitting down to talk about the essential habits, goals, and success mindset that all entrepreneurs and business owners need to have.
Welcome to this week’s Mastermind training! As a new entrepreneur or business owner, maybe you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed. Life can seem overcomplicated. There are staffing needs, finances, marketing, taxes, sales, family, COVID protocols, and a whole host of other things that need to be looked after.
How can you make it through and not just survive, but thrive?
You need to make sure you have the right habits, goals, and a success mindset in place.
Developing the Skillset
In this episode, Scott Thor, Juanita Webb, and Justin Hiebert sit down and talk about the essentials skills of a business owner.
You’ll discover what you need to know about:
Successful Morning Routines
Getting good work done, even when you don’t feel like it.
How to overcome obstacles and hurdles
Ways to increase your productivity while staying sane.
Our best tips to a growing and thriving business
These are skills that we’ve used, utilized, and developed over our years in business. If you feel like shortening your learning curve by decades, be sure to give this podcast a listen.
About Justin
If you’re new to the podcast, welcome!
My name is Justin, and I’m an Elite-Mindset and success coach. Throughout my career, I’ve been a pastor, educator, and serial entrepreneur. I help entrepreneurs, business owners, and world-changers attain elite mental performance through burnout prevention, habits, and compounding daily wins.
About the Mastermind
The Bakersfield Mastermind is a collaboration between Dr.’s Scott Thor and Juanita Web.
