Key on desk with overlay text: confidence is key

I was reminded recently, how in any attempted area of growth, confidence is key.

First, a confession. I’m a huge Gordon Ramsey fan. His ability to instruct, teach, inspire, lead is inspiring. I’ve also laughed at more than a few of his insults. He also knows when to relax, laugh, and have a good time.

Recently, I was watching an episode of his popular show Hell’s Kitchen and set one chef home after a critical failure.

Her crime? She lost confidence in her own ability.

As the episode ends, you hear Gordon’s voice as the picture shows her leaving the competition.

“If she’s lost confidence in herself, I can’t have confidence in her as my next executive chef.”

It is a dear reminder that in any area of life and growth, confidence is key.

Displaying Confidence

Let me be clear: confidence is not brashness, arrogance, smugness, or cockiness.

Confidence is not abusive or manipulative.

No, confidence is assurance.

It’s an assurance in the mission and service you’re providing to the world.

Confident people are able to say, “I’ve made it through every previous trial, I can make it through this one as well.”

Confidence is not about putting others down, it’s a clear picture of who you are.

Confident people have an accurate self-perception. They know who they are, why they were created, and the mission they are to be about while on this earth.

Confidence is key. Key on desk with overlay text: confidence is key

I often tell people at the start of a coaching relationship, “I can do anything for you except make you want to change. You have to want to change and be willing to put in the work required to do so. Once you acknowledge and commit to that, I’ll give you every tool I have to help you succeed.”

Why do some people make that commitment (and experience the reward) and others don’t?

Confidence.

Confidence is key.

The Confidence Quickstart

Life can be hard. As a result, there may be moments where you find yourself doubting. Wondering. Fearful.

Those moments are not a reason to withdraw or shrink back. Instead, they are moments to rise to the occasion, challenge yourself, accomplish something great, and demonstrate your ability.

If you ever find yourself in need of a confidence boost, here are three proven methods to help you get back on track.

Gratitude Journal.

First, start by keeping a gratitude journal. Write down as many things as you can to be thankful for.

A number of years ago, I challenged myself to write down 1,000 things I was grateful for. Once I got past the big and obvious ones (spouse, kids, parents, a house, a job) I really had to begin to focus my attention on every moment of every day.

Could I find moments of joy or positive experiences, even in the midst of difficult circumstances?

Of course, I just had to give it intentional thought.

Eventually, I had an impressive list (even if I never did make my 1,000 goal) and it completely reframed the way I go throughout my day. 

Want to feel more confident? Start by acknowledging and welcoming all the good you already have in your life.

A list of previous accomplishments.

Next, keep a list of all of the previous things you accomplished.

Again, you’ll start with the big obvious ones (that’s great!).

The raise you earned.

That karate trophy from the third grade.

Voted most photogenic in high school.

Eventually, you’ll move on to the harder, but not less significant experiences.

The first successful sales call.

That time you worked up the nerve to ask that special someone.

Conquering the fear of public speaking.

Pretty soon, you’ll have an impressive list not only of everything you have to be thankful for, but all the previous times you’ve thought something was impossible, and yet you did it anyway.

Positive Affirmations

Finally, look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself some encouragement.

Far too often, we do just the opposite.

We mess up or make a mistake and say something like, “Of course I did that. I’m a klutz.”

Or, “What an idiot.”

Instead of that how about we say, “Boy, had I given it two more seconds of thought maybe I wouldn’t have made that same choice, but I’m glad I had this learning experience.”

Then, encourage yourself:

  • Look at this list of everything you have to be thankful for and all you’ve accomplished. Confident man looking in mirror
  • You’re very talented!
  • I can’t believe all that you’ve overcome.
  • You are very resilient.
  • You’ve got this!

As you stare at yourself, providing those affirmations, you’ll notice a shift in your thinking, your emotions, and your behavior.

You’ll notice that confidence returning. Building. Sustaining you throughout the day.

Once you’ve acknowledged all you have to be grateful for, written down your accomplishments, and affirmed your intellect and skills, only one thing is left.

Go out and do great things.

You’re more than capable.

I’m sure of it.

I’m confident of it.

And confidence is key.

 

 

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Blog Post Title: Clarity Breeds Confidence

Recently, I had to engage in a bit of self-talk. Long hours. Early mornings. Late nights. A move to a new city. It was catching up with me. I was e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.

That meant the minor task I had to accomplish was becoming a major headache. With all the finesse and grace of an accomplished dancer, I spun around that task and successfully avoided it for hours.

Eventually, as I was sitting on the couch looking for yet another distraction, I finally came to my senses.

Justin!?! What are you thinking? You know you need to do this. If you lack motivation, you lack the vision. Why does this matter to you so much?

Clarity Breeds Confidence

At that moment, I acknowledged I lacked the clear motivation of why this task mattered. I verbally began to recite whatever came to mind as to why the task mattered.

  • Your family is counting on you.
    Blog Post Title: Clarity Breeds Confidence
  • Accomplishing this will provide income to your family.
  • It builds trust and respect.
  • I want to provide for those I love.

On and on the list grew. Before I knew it, I had expressed over twenty different reasons I needed to complete the task.

What happened?

It was done in less than an hour.

Clarity breeds confidence. If we lack the motivation to complete something, it’s often because we lack the vision of why it matters in the first place.

When we remind ourselves what makes a task important, we harness the motivation (and more importantly, discipline) to get it done.

Pulled 1,000 Different Directions

Many of us are pulled in a thousand different directions every day. Our spouse needs affection. The kids want our attention. Our boss wants a report. A parent needs our perspective. Our friend needs advice. The side-hustle needs grinding.

Whatever it is, you know what it’s like to be pulled in a thousand different directions.

When struggling, recite: Confidence breeds clarity. The more clear our goals, the more action we are willing (and able to take). 

By gaining clarity on why something matters, you’ll breed the confidence to figure out how.

That’s one big difference between high-achievers and regular performers. High-achievers spend a significant amount of time engaging in the end vision of their journey and then plan intentionally.

Because clarity breeds confidence. Struggling like I was? Spend time there and experience a breakthrough.