Five Powerful Questions

Posted on March 14, 2022 by admin

Every Monday, I spend time in an intentional review process. By asking myself five powerful questions, I can radically transform my intention and direction for the week. These five powerful questions keep me focused and directed on my long-term goals.

The Weekly Review

The weekly review process is one I implemented several years ago when I started using Michael Hyatt’s Full Focus Planner (here’s a link to a video series I did walking through everything). If I’m honest, at first, I found it tedious. Then, I went through a phase of outright rejection. Finally, I committed myself to the process.

Now, it’s something I can’t live without.

Setting aside time every week to track my goals, check in with myself, and stay grounded in what matters most has radically transformed my life.

As a result, I’ve created five powerful questions that help summarize the process of review that I do every week.

5 Powerful Questions

1.) What happened?

I start with what was. What happened last week that I need to be aware of? Was there anything of significance? How did I do on my goals? What targets did I miss, and what tasks did I fail to do?

I don’t spend a lot of time here, but the weeks are so busy and full of stuff that it can be helpful for me to remember what happened as I plan my new week.

2.) What is happening?

Now I start to look forward. What is happening this week? Where are my meetings? Who am I trying to connect with? Is there anything unique or special that I agreed to months ago that I have forgotten about?

As a calendar-driven person, I sometimes make appointments weeks in advance. They get written down when I make the appointment, but it’s common that it slips my mind after that. Spending time every week looking ahead refreshes my memory and allows me to be prepared.

3.) Who do I need to be?

I’m a big believer that we don’t so much chase goals as we chase being the person capable of handling those goals. It’s a subtle difference, but here’s an example:

I want to have a strong, healthy, vibrant marriage.

This is a goal. I might even attempt to define it better by making it a S.M.A.R.T.E.R goal, but it’s a goal.

Contrast it with the following statement:

I want to be the type of person that can have a strong, healthy, vibrant marriage.

Small difference, but a big change.

One is focused on an end result. Great! I’ve got a good marriage!

The other focuses on the continual growth process. How do I get an even better marriage this week?

By focusing on the type of person I need to be in the world, it keeps me growing and focused on intentionally bettering myself.

4.) Who do I need to help?

I work with mission-critical leaders. These are people that are ultimately living their life in service to others. I want to orient myself in the same way.

Part of my business model is to help others. By setting aside time every week to pass on referrals, extend my network, seek a service opportunity, or look for donation options, I give myself time every week to give back to the community I care about.

5.) What matters most?

This one reminds me of why I do what I do.

What sounds good when I’m hungry? Junk food.

What matters most? Healthy food options are ready when I don’t have willpower.

What sounds fun when I’m tired? Video games.

What really gives me life and energy when I need some? Gardening. Reading. Friends. There are a whole lot more beneficial options for me than video games.

By keeping focused on what matters most, I pre-set my brain to autopilot so I don’t have to make hard choices when I lack discipline, willpower, motivation, or time.

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What about you? How do you plan your week for success? Leave tips below!

Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

Posted on January 4, 2022 by admin

Blog Post Cover Art two people mapping out a journey with a computer and paper, one person sipping coffee. Overlay text Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

Recently, I was reminded about the importance of developing the process of growth and achievement.

As I was scrolling through social media, I came across the following quote:

Amateurs have goals, professionals have a process.

In the myth of new year new you, it’s popular for people to set goals. Rarely do they ever achieve those goals. Now, some are now actively warning you not to do it.

The failure to attain these goals, really to gain any motivation or traction for change, can be found in that nuance.

I’ve written before about how to write clear and compelling goals.

What makes all the difference in the world, is the process to make it stick.

Setting Goals

Here’s a quick recap on how to set good goals: S.M.A.R.T.E.R.

Specific – Is it clear?

Measurable – Can it be defined?

Achievable – Is it possible?

Relevant – Do I really want it?

Timely – When does it need to be done by?

Energy – What’s the feeling I gain by achieving the desired result?

Reward – How can I remind myself it all matters?

Notice the difference between these two “goals”

I will lose weight.

I will lose 25 pounds by March 15. This will give me extra energy and confidence for the cruise my wife and I are taking to celebrate our anniversary over spring break. When I lose those twenty-five pounds, I will reward myself with a new swimsuit for the trip.

Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

Develop the process.

Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

To help develop the process in any goal you want to set, here are three quick questions you can ask yourself:

1.) Who do I need to become?

Goals, growth, and progress all require change. You cannot strive to attain something and remain the same. Identify who you need (and want) to become. Create the process and choices that will help you achieve the desired growth.

2.) What should I K.I.S.S.?

In this context, K.I.S.S. is an acronym for Keep, Improve, Start, Stop.

What is working well that I should keep doing? This is about amplifying the good.

What could be working better? This is about refinement.

What do I need to start? Action is key and sometimes we don’t get it right the first time. This is about continuous motion and improvement.

What should I stop? Not everything goes as anticipated. Sometimes, we just need to let it go.

3.) How will I avoid distraction?

We’re not perfect. I’m sure you’ve logged on to social media before to make a meaningful and business-related post only to be sucked in by mindless scrolling. It happens to everyone. Learning our personal triggers (being tired, hungry, bored, etc…) and building around those moments minimizes distractions and keeps us focused.

2022 is young and fresh. It is a year full of possibilities and I hope and pray the best for you. On your journey remember one thing:

Amateurs have goals, professionals have process.

Develop the process.

60 Days

Posted on November 1, 2021 by admin

Happy November. We’ve got sixty days left this year to make a difference. What are your commitments?

Time Passes By

As my kids get older, time seems to be moving by more quickly. In what feels like an overnight change, we’ve left the diaper stage and are six months away from our first teenager. Even our children are starting to notice. Recently, my oldest son said, “Dad, I can’t believe it’s the end of July already. Kind of feel like summer’s over and we should start planning for Christmas.”

Does anyone else feel like that? The passage of time marches on, whether or not we’re ready for it. More than seasons, dates, and calendars, I’m sure you also notice changes in your own life. All of a sudden you look up and realize that there are only sixty days left in this year.

2022 is knocking on the door. We all know how quickly the holiday season flies by so it will be here before you know it. What’s your plan?

60 Days

2021 only has 60 days left.

9 weeks.

1440 hours

86,400 minutes.

In an instant, it will all be over and you’ll be wanting to set new years goals.

Why wait?

You have 9 Monday’s left to make progress on your goals.

9 Mondays left to do something of significance.

9 Mondays left to radically shape and influence your future.

If you’re sitting around waiting for something, conisder this your wake up call.

Get after it.

What’s Your Kindness Quotient (KQ)

Posted on September 14, 2021 by admin

Blog Post Cover Art: Two hands holding another in sympathy with blog overlay text "What's Your Kindness Quotient?"

… The other day, I was listening to the radio, and the host began the segment by asking, “What’s your KQ?” After a few seconds of silence, she went on to explain that KQ is Kindness Quotient. Understanding, and cultivating kindness is a growing trend. I’m 100% in.

Understanding KQ

For years, in the business world, we’ve heard about terms about our IQ (Intelligence) and EQ (Emotional) resilience. We’ve examined grit. Studies have been done on leadership capacity. You can get a degree in change management.

But recently, I came across the idea of KQ (Kindness Quotient) while listening to the radio, and I’m 100% in favor of this.

… being kind is linked to being happy. In her research, Sonya Lyubomirsky, a University of California-Riverside psychologist, found that practicing acts of kindness (as well as expressing thankfulness, gratitude, and forgiveness ) was common among happy people. Kindness seems to have a rebound effect, creating an endless loop of positivity …

(Source)

I’m a huge fan of gratitude and think that consciously expressing thankfulness creates and generates more to be thankful for.

Apparently, kindness works the same way.

Intentionally expressing an act of kindness to someone generates more kindness in the world.

Random Acts of Kindness

As a child, I remember the call of a well-intentioned teacher urging me to “Go RAK someone today.” That is, engage in a random act of kindness. Their belief was that if I could do that, I would feel good, someone else would benefit, and the world would be a better place.

We even kept a RAK chart so we could see who RAK’d the most people in a given week.

Maybe she was on to something …

And now more than ever, the world seems to need a little bit of kindness.

Societal unrest.

Political Turmoil

COVID Pandemic

Fear-Filled News Cycles

Natural Disasters

The world appears to be in trouble.

And while I’m not entirely sure what kindness could do to stop a hurricane, I know kindness could help solve the rest of the problems on the list … and go a long way in recovering from a hurricane.

What’s Your Kindness Quotient (KQ)

So, what’s your KQ level?

Can you tell?

I’d like to think I’m a kind person, and show generosity, compassion, grace, and positivity in the world, but do I?

How can I tell?

In coaching, we talk a lot about investing our time and energy into the right pursuits. During one activity, we look at ways to analyze our calendar and our task list to see if our values and our time are lining up.

In many ways, we can measure kindness in the same way. Can you look back on your time, and just like you scheduled time to exercise, have dinner, return emails, and attend your kid’s practice, did you schedule a time to be kind?

Did you keep it front of mind?

Do you challenge yourself to grow and expand your capabilities?

In a world focused on division, dis-unity, and discord, focus instead on being kind, generous, compassionate, and proactively positive.

So, what’s your kindness quotient?

Don’t be a Circus Elephant

Posted on August 26, 2021 by admin

In a world that has trained you to be afraid, to doubt, and to limit yourself my advice is simple: don’t be a circus elephant.

The Elephant and the Rope

There’s a rather famous story floating around about how baby elephants were trained for the circus.

In short: baby elephants learn their boundaries by being chained to a stake in the ground. As little elephants, they can’t break free and learn they can only go so far.

By the time they are adults, the chain has been exchanged for a tiny rope, but the same (now self-imposed) limit still applies. The young elephant learned, “I can only go so far” and it never ventures to try anything new.

The adult elephant is capable of breaking free from the tiny rope, yet it never does.

Why?

Because that’s the power of false beliefs.

The False Narrative

When our kids were younger, we told them Bongo stories. In the stories, Bongo was their dog that was big enough to ride on. They would zoom around their Kingdom rescuing animals in need.

In every story, I would describe the adjectives the kids would need to complete their mission.

Kindness.

Love.

Compassion.

Justice.

The list complied was designed to teach them the values, attitudes, and habits we wanted to instill in them.

This was done because of the powerful shaping effect of story.

Plus, it counters the false narratives that we as adults know all too well.

“I can’t.”

“I’m too dumb.”

Clumsy old me.”

Every day, we bombard ourselves with narratives and adjectives about how limited we are. And, just like the elephant, we never break free of those limitations believing we can only go so far.

Only have a certain amount of success.

We falsely believe the little rope of lies telling us we can’t be more, do more, have more, or love more.

It’s time to break free.

Breaking Free

In coaching, we talk about breaking free of limiting beliefs through three C’s of action.

Community

The first is to be surrounded by community. Hear the voice and perspective of people who can see your true nature, gifts, abilities, and potential. Surround yourself with the positive people who want and see great things for you.

Competency

Discovering your true gifts and calling is another way to break free. Do you do what you love becuase you’re really good at it and enjoy it … or because you’re trying to earn someone’s affection? Knowing your true skills creates a passionate pursuit of of growth and limitless influence.

Compassion

Look. We’re all going to screw up. In those moments of failure, having compassion on yourself is vital. Know your standard, live up to your standard, but have grace on yourself when you mess up. Learn where you went wrong, and correct the problem.

In your quest for personal growth, never believe you have to settle. Don’t be a circus elephant.